On this page you will find everything you really need to know about Bears

First and foremost: Bears go grrr. In this they are distinct from dogs, which go woof (unless they are black poofy nextdoor-neighbor dogs, in which case they go snurfle) and cats, which go meow or purr. Big cats go grr on occasion, though.

There are many kinds of bears. My bear is a scientific bear; Ann's bear is very Zen (or passive, or submissive), and can be caused to loose face by the expedient of pushing on his nose till his face disappears.

Other kinds of bears can go brrr (polar bears or naked bears) or bink (mischevious bears). Holly bears (...of all the trees that are in the wood, the holly bears...) also go grr. There are no ivy bears. Compliant bears go sure; mechanical bears go whirrr.

You can always tell a bear by the fact that it cannot reach its own forehead to block binks. (Tap someone between the eyes and say "bink.")

Taurus bears say, "I said GRRR."

Gemini bears say, "Grr. Or maybe meow...?"

Leo bears say, "Grr. Do you hear me? GRRR."